Things I Appreciate About Me ~ A Self-Love Exercise
People of all ages, genders, ethnicities and socio-economic status often excel at self-criticism, sometimes to the point of self-abuse. We say things to and about ourselves that we would find totally unacceptable if we said them to someone else.
That negativity accelerates in times of loneliness or when we face challenging problems. It would be more productive, healing, and pleasant if we were to simply accept and love ourselves. As Wayne Dyer said in one of his quotable quotes, “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
So, let’s start with spending a few minutes in thoughtful answers to the following questions. This is a little questionnaire I use in some of my classes about self-healing and personal growth. (Contact me for more info.)
Get your coffee or tea and whatever you need to answer these questions in writing. You’re going to fill out your responses now and see what amazing changes in your thoughts occur when you review it in 6 months or a year.
A Short Self-Love Questionnaire
- I am or was really happy when…
- I feel or felt most completely my true self when…
- The accomplishment of which I’m most proud is… (The answer is NOT that you produced or raised your children.’ It should be something about YOU, but, if you cannot think of anything other than those kids, please focus on something YOU did to help them grow and flourish.)
- What my friends like most about me is…
- I’m proud of myself for …
- My family was happy when I…
- My greatest talent or skill is…
- Something that makes me unique is…
When you first finish your answers, you may realize that you could benefit from spending some more time in thought about this and supply additional answers later in the day or week.
It’s a good idea to keep the first answers, so you can watch your own evolution in thinking. You might even want to date them and write the time. If the answers changed radically between your first and next tries, did some event or idea change your perspective?
It can be enlightening to do this little exercise again in 3, 6, 9, or 12 months. Choose your own interval or tie it to an event that you anticipate in the future, such as the marriage of a child, changes in health, etc.
You also might use this exercise as a tool in your personal growth plan. For example, you could try doing this exercise before and after you begin a meditation practice.
What’s the point of doing this? It is to get your focus off negative thoughts and emotions and to relive those which are positive. When you do that, you realize you can recreate the healing, positive feelings and thoughts whenever you want to in your imagination to help elevate your mood and your self-esteem. You also can focus on what you want to do/be and what you don’t want to do/be, thus beginning the transformational journey into creating the life and experiences you want to have. (So glad you asked. I almost forgot to tell you!)
Using the Self-Love Test as a Test of How You Respond In Daily Life
Here are the questions again, but, this time, we’re going to answer the questions as they relate to a particular subject, such as how you feel, think, and what actions you actually take in today’s socio-political environment. See the picture of how it affects me and then answer in terms of how it affects you.
My brain while watching the news >
Let’s Do the Self-Love Questionnaire Again in the Context of Current Events
- I am or was really happy when…
- I feel or felt most completely my true self when…
- The accomplishment of which I’m most proud is…
- What my friends like most about me is…
- I’m proud of myself for …
- My family was happy when I…
- My greatest talent or skill is…
- Something that makes me unique is…
Now, pick another subject – and make it a pleasant one. For example, answer the questions in the context of when you do volunteer work, or when you are taking a class, or when you are with friends.
Are You In Self-Love When You Think or Do Positive Things?
Opening dogwood flowers
- I am or was really happy when…
- I feel or felt most completely my true self when…
- The accomplishment of which I’m most proud is…
- What my friends like most about me is…
- I’m proud of myself for …
- My family was happy when I…
- My greatest talent or skill is…
- Something that makes me unique is…
If you know or follow me, you know I always try to cram too much information into each post, class, or speech. Today, I’m going to restrain myself from mentioning other examples or other techniques. I hope you enjoy playing with this self-love exercise, and I would be happy to hear from you if you would like to share what might work with particular challenges you face. Click Here for some examples.
Let’s Get Well, Stay Well, and Live Well Together Now!