Tea and Tips #1 Healing From Physical and Sexual Abuse

This is the first in a long-promised series of blogs called Tea & Tips. I’ll write articles on a range of topics, as if we were talking over tea. The topic is entirely dependent upon my mood or what I’ve learned recently. In this case, the conversation is about the socio-cultural issues related to physical and sexual abuse. I’ll offer tips for healing the self.

For millions of people, emotion-laden memories and opinions were raised during the Senate Judicial Committee hearings regarding the allegations by Dr. Christine Ford against Supreme Court Justice candidate, Brett Kavanaugh. I won’t be talking about politics. I’ll be talking about a number of tools which can be used to heal the trauma from a physical or sexual assault and abuse! I’ll also mention who, other than the obvious victims, also need healing.

Have you got your tea? Let’s get started.

Who is  Suffering? More Kinds of People than You Might Think

The United States – and, perhaps, the world-watching – has undergone a traumatic week for people who have experienced physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I am guessing it also may have been traumatic for others. Who are they?

* Men, who have participated in such actions, thinking (or having been taught) that it is an okay, masculine prerogative. People for whom it is almost an expectation. A habit. A stage of life or an ingrained characteristic.

Suddenly, they have the shock and shame of learning it truly is not all right, and they may need help to overcome the past and to change course for the future. There is guilt to face and to release.

* Spouses and loved ones who are learning – for the first time – that this kind of thing happened to their children, parents, spouses, friends, or significant others.

*People who confessed – for the first time – the secret, the shame, the fear, the effects on relationships, the loss of innocence. It’s a shocking new reality, which requires patience, understanding, and support.

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What Is a Good Guideline

The reality and long-lasting impacts of these events are being exposed at new levels, as we collectively evolve into stages of higher awareness and, for some, empathy. Regardless of whether you identify with a religion, the “Golden Rule” seems always applicable. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (or unto your most treasured loved one).

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Truth and Consequences

As a life coach and spiritual counselor, I know that healing requires time, just as it does for physical injury. But, there are many tools which can assist in making the process go faster.

1. One is hypnotherapy.
2. Another is Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).
3. A third is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT / “tapping”).
4. I know a technique, called “Focusing,” which is very beneficial in releasing the physical congestion in the body that results from various mental/emotional traumas.
5. There are specific ways of journaling that are both fun and helpful. They assist in expressing and in retrieving information that may have been suppressed after trauma. (That is one of my favorite classes to teach.)
6. Of course, meditation is a gift! I swear you not only CAN do it, but you already DO it during particular parts of your day/night.
7. Maybe you need simply to talk with someone who is knowledgeable and supportive, whether that person is a professional or “just” your grandparent.

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People Who Have Suffered From or Committed Abuse CAN Heal

The point of this note is not to have you become my client or to take my classes, but to assure each of you that you are NOT helpless. The effects of trauma do NOT have to control you. You can learn methods to help you overcome the Post-traumatic stress (PTSD) of almost any event – or, at least, to make it better. I hope you’ll explore some of these techniques, and I’ll be glad to guide you to resources, if I can.

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Let’s Get Well, Stay Well, and Live Well Together NOW!